Thursday, February 23, 2012

The (not-so) True Story of The Nib.

Everyone knows that woodworkers are slow to complete projects. This is a huge problem when you are working for a living, especially when you are working for someone else, and even more so when you have a date with a lusty serving wench at the local tavern. So, a mid-17th century Dutch-German carpenter, I.M Van Der Fulypunktual, decided that he needed a better way to tell how long he had been at work.

Now, back then, clocks were extremely expensive. All the gears were hand-filed from extremely pricey materials. I.M didn't have enough cash to buy a real clock AND pay for his bier, so he solved the problem in an ingenious manner. He built a portable sundial and riveted in right on the end of his favorite saw. This was perfect for him. He could saw his heart out and know exactly what time it was. But far more importantly, he knew exactly when quitting time was, and when bier-o'clock came around on that sundial, he could quit right away.

Now, the other carpenters in the area were frustrated that I.M. got the best table, the freshest pour and the freshest serving girls at the tavern, so they soon replicated his successful design on their own saws. Soon the entire guild of carpenters were seen as do-nothing drunkards, all thanks to that sundial, which lives on today in the form of the saw nib. Need proof? Just offer a carpenter a cold one...